Girls Leadership Principle #1: Leadership is Influence

Girls Who Fight
6 days ago
3 min read

The Girls Who Fight Self Defense And Leadership Program

By Gemma Sheehan

Leadership principles from 'The 21 Irrefutable Laws if Leadership" adapted for girls and teens

"Leadership is influence—nothing more, nothing less." - John Maxwell

Have you ever gone along with something just because your friends were doing it, even when you knew it wasn’t right? Or have you ever seen one girl make a choice and suddenly everyone else follows? That’s influence.

Being a leader doesn’t mean you’re the boss. It means people listen to you, trust you, and choose to follow you. If no one is following you, then you’re not leading—you’re just doing your own thing. As the saying goes, "if you think you’re leading but no one is following, you’re just taking a walk."

Influence in Girl World

Almost every friend group, workplace and classroom has a leader who people follow. Sometimes the leaders influence leads to good decisions, like including someone, being healthy, or doing the right thing. Other times it leads to bad decisions, like gossiping, making dangerous choices, or doing something you know isn’t right. Every group has a leader and followers. And you're either influencing the group or the group is influencing you.

Is Taylor Swift a Leader?

Taylor Swift isn’t a leader because she’s famous. She’s a leader because people trust her, listen to her, and follow her. When she had a problem with her old record label owning her music, she didn’t just sit around and complain about it. She took action and re-recorded her albums so she could own her work again. Her fans supported her and chose to listen to the new versions instead of the originals. That only happened because they trust her and believe in her– because she has real influence.

5 Things Leadership Is Not:

Being the boss is NOT leadership

Some people think being a leader means being in charge or telling people what to do. But just because someone is has a title doesn’t mean others respect them and listen to them. Leadership isn’t given, it's earned. Leadership is not about control. It's about influence.

"The only thing a title can buy is more time, either to increase your level of influence or to lower it." - John Maxwell

Being confident is NOT leadership

Some girls are bold and go after what they want, but that doesn’t always make them leaders. Leadership is not just about doing your own thing. It’s about whether other people want to follow your lead and join you, not just watch you.

Being smart or talented is NOT leadership

Being smart or talented doesn’t make someone a leader either. You can be the best at something and still not have people like you or listen to you. Many of the smartest people have the worst people skills, and many of the most talented people have the worst character. But you need competence and character to be a good leader. People follow those who are kind, consistent, and trustworthy, not just those who are the most skills.

Being first is NOT leadership

Going first doesn’t make you a leader. You can be out in front with no one wanting to follow you. Being a trend-setter is not the same thing as being a leader.

Being famous is NOT leadership

Leadership does not come from being famous, or from having lots of 'followers' on social media. You can have millions of followers and not be trusted by any of them. You can be famous and still have no one who wants to follow your lead.

Becoming A Leader

Every girl can be a great leader. You don’t have to be talented, loud or popular to be a leader. Leadership is simple. If people follow you, you are a leader. The way you act every day is what will determine if others trust you and follow your example.

⚡️ Action

This week, pay attention to your friend group. Who are the leaders and who are the followers? Are the leaders leading people in a good direction?

⚡️ Reflection

How can we be a positive influence in martial arts class? How can we be a positive influence at school?

Raise a Confident, Capable Girl Who Knows How to Protect Herself

The Girls Who Fight Program® helps girls age 6–14 develop Character, Confidence and Strength while mastering self defense skills that last a lifetime.