Girls Leadership Principle #4: Leadership Requires Respect

Girls Who Fight
2 days ago
4 min read

The Girls Who Fight Self Defense And Leadership Program

By Gemma Sheehan

Leadership principles from 'The 21 Irrefutable Laws if Leadership" adapted for girls and teens.

"People naturally follow leaders they respect" - John Maxwell

People naturally follow better leaders than themselves. People don't choose leaders by accident, they choose leaders they respect.

"When people respect you as a person, they admire you. When they respect you as a friend, they love about you. But when they respect you as a leader, they follow you." - John Maxwell

Respect in Girl World

Harriet Tubman started life with multiple disadvantages. She was uneducated. She was a slave. She lived in a culture that didn't respect black people and where women didn't have the right to vote.

Yet despite her circumstances she became a fearless leader that was highly respected by all people.

By the start of the civil war she had rescued more people from slavery than any other American in history. She risked her life over and over to rescue over 300 people and never once lost a single person in her care.

People didn’t follow Harriet Tubman because she told them to. They followed her because they respected her courage, her commitment, and her success.

Maxwell's 6 Ways of Earning Respect:

Natural Leadership Ability

People follow people who are better leaders than themselves. But ability is not enough. One of the biggest mistakes of natural leaders is to only rely on their talent. Harriet Tubman had natural leadership ability, but it was her tremendous character that made her such a successful leader.

Respect for others

When leaders show respect for others, especially those who have less power, they gain respect. At school, how how do you treat people who aren't as popular as you or not in your group? In martial arts, how do you treat beginners, or girls who are older or younger than you? Do you ignore them, or include them?

A great leader treats the janitor the same way she treats the boss.

Overcoming Difficult Moments

When leaders care enough to help people even if it means having a difficult conversation, they gain respect.

If your friend is about to do something destructive, do you smile and nod along, or are you willing to say "hey, I care about you and that's why I need to tell you that this isn't a good idea"?

Courage

All great leaders have great courage. Harriet Tubman had profound courage. She was determined to succeed even when it meant risking her life over and over again.

"A leader does not deserve the name unless he is willing occasionally to stand alone"

Courage looks like doing what's right even when everyone else is doing what's wrong. Like saying no to peer pressure. Or doing something challenging even when you're nervous. Like volunteering to do a martial arts demo in front of the whole class.

Success

People respect results. When you accomplish your goals you gain credibility. People know that you can follow through and won’t quit when things get hard. People choose to follow successful people because they want to be part of that success too.

People trusted Harriet Tubman because she had a proven track record for success. She rescued over 300 people and never lost one.

Loyalty

Loyalty is rare. That's why people respect it. Think of your longest friend. Imagine that one day some popular kids invite you to sit with them for lunch, but you're not aloud to bring her. They say she's "not cool enough. Do you ditch your best friend, or do you stand by her?

Harriet Tubman had rock solid loyalty to her mission. When her own husband threatened to turn her in if she didn't stop, she left him. Sometimes it takes courage to be loyal. But it always earns you respect.

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage, you cannot practice any other virtue consistently” — Maya Angelou

Becoming A Leader

Anyone can be a leader! Girls often focus too much on being liked, and not enough on how to be respected. To grow in character, stop asking "what can I do to be liked", and start asking "what can I do to earn respect."

⚡️ Action

You can earn respect by respecting others, overcoming challenges, having courage, accomplishing your goals, and being a loyal person. This week, choose one way to earn respect from your peers.

⚡️ Reflection

Going through each of the 7 ways of earning respect, what can we do in martial arts class to earn respect that way?

Raise a Confident, Capable Girl Who Knows How to Protect Herself

The Girls Who Fight Program® helps girls age 6–14 develop Character, Confidence and Strength while mastering self defense skills that last a lifetime.