Girls Leadership Principle #3: Add Value By Serving Others

Girls Who Fight
6 days ago
3 min read

The Girls Who Fight Self Defense And Leadership Program

By Gemma Sheehan

Leadership principles from 'The 21 Irrefutable Laws if Leadership" adapted for girls and teens.

"Leaders Add Value By Serving Others" - John Maxwell

Have you ever had someone help you when they didn’t have to? Maybe they included you, helped you improve, or stood up for you. You remember it, because it made your life better. That’s what adding value looks like.

Leadership isn’t about how far you get ahead—it’s about how far you bring others. Every time you interact with someone, you are either improving their lives or taking away from their lives. At Girls Who Fight, we don’t just focus on being strong ourselves. We focus on helping the people around us get stronger too.

Adding Value in Girl World

In martial arts class, adding value looks like the girl who helps someone new feel welcome instead of ignoring them. It’s the one who encourages her teammate instead of putting her down. She who is a safe, dedicated and positive training partner.

Adding value isn’t something dramatic like buying a fancy gift for someones birthday. It’s how you treat people every day. Every relationship is like a bank account. You are either contributing to it or withdrawing from it. Every time you treat someone well you put a dollar in. Every time you treat someone poorly you take a dollar out. The amount of dollars in the account represents how much value you have given that person. Good leaders always give more value than they expect to receive back.

We add value to others when we:

Truly value others

Being a leader means you don’t always put yourself first. It means you care about other people and show it through your actions. Not just saying you care—but actually treating people with respect, kindness, and attention so they can feel it.

"Leaders add value by believing in their people before their people believe in them, and serving others before they are served" - John Maxwell

Make ourselves more valuable to others

You can’t give something you don’t have. If you want to help others grow, you have to keep growing yourself. That means practicing your skills, working hard, and learning from your experiences. The more you work on your own personal growth, the more value you have to offer others.

Care about what others value

You can’t truly help someone if you don’t understand them.

Good leaders take the time to listen. They pay attention to how people feel, what matters to them, and what they’re going through. They don’t just jump in and tell people what to do—they learn first, then lead.

This looks like noticing when a friend is having a bad day, understanding what a teammate is struggling with, or realizing that someone just needs encouragement.

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood" - Stephen Covey, '7 Habits of Highly Effective People'

Becoming A Leader

Leadership is not about what you get—it’s about what you give. When you serve others and help them grow, you build trust, respect, and real influence. That’s what makes people want to follow you.

⚡️ Action

This week, look for one way each day to help someone. It could be including someone, encouraging a teammate, or helping a friend. Pay attention to how your actions affect the people around you.

⚡️ Reflection

How can we ass value in martial arts class? How can we add value at school?

Raise a Confident, Capable Girl Who Knows How to Protect Herself

The Girls Who Fight Program® helps girls age 6–14 develop Character, Confidence and Strength while mastering self defense skills that last a lifetime.